Micro Movie Reviews

DISCLAIMER: My film school teacher is an idiot.

Just a spate of reviews that were otherwise gathering dust on IMDB. I prefer the dust accumulation over here.

Sorry to Bother You (2018)

Maybe it was because I knew beforehand that the movie was supposed to take a crazy turn, but I think everything that happened made perfect sense thematically and was not all that surprising. But I’m also a lunatic.

 

Chungking Express (1994)

Now that’s a bait-and-switch I can get behind.

 

Closely Watched Trains (1966)

I need to buy rubber stamps…

 

In the Mood for Love (2000)

I fell for it every time they rehearsed.

 

Suspiria (1977)

Beautiful visuals, but it’s the music that is so damn compelling. Stunning combination of requisite eeriness and sheer propulsion.

 

Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

Not enough can be said of Kaluuya’s performance (he’s my personal pick for a new James Bond), but there is one scene where I think Stanfield steals the show. It’s where his character Bill is joining in with the Panthers as they declare what they would have done to hurt one of their enemies. Stanfield participates enthusiastically, bragging about how he would have hurt this man. The genius is in his ability to simultaneously act within the act itself. He not only convinces these people he would do as they would, but he does so in a way that the audience member can tell he is faking it, without dropping the pretense that the people in the room with him would be convinced by what he is saying. It’s like acting Inception, and it was damned impressive to watch. I want him as the Bond villain, with Ryan Coogler at the helm (see: casino chase in Black Panther). Throw in Michael B. Jordan as Felix Leiter.

 

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

What?

 

After Hours (1985)

This movie is a vibe. And that vibe is purgatory. No wonder Scorsese directed it. EDIT: It’s the 80’s. That vibe is cocaine. Also, no wonder Scorsese directed it.

 

The Last Days of American Crime (2020)

Michael Pitt with the pitch perfect James Franco impression.

 

Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge (2020)

This movie is Gory Feldman. That is to say, it’s very bloody and a reminder of the damage which can be inflicted upon people.

 

Mortal Kombat (2021)

Let’s start with the protagonist’s literal plot armor. It’s the type of campy befitting of the source material. Joe Taslim: flawless. Hiroyuki Sanada: gangster, as always. Fight choreography, costumes, and set design: dope as fuck. Still, Josh Lawson steals the show. But the best line: “Yeah, these motherfuckers work.”

 

Tenet (2020)

Set pieces go BRRRRRR. Sound mixing goes ᵇʳʳʳ.

 

The New Mutants (2020)

Needed more accents. A Boston patient, with the power to make the letter R disappear.

 

Branded to Kill (1967)

This movie is fucking dope. Weird, but dope. (P.S. I don’t have a film degree.)

 

Dodes’ka-den (1970)

The ‘train engineer’ is my spirit animal.

 

Z (1969)

Thriller with a capital T.

 

Dune (1984)

“Hi, yes. I’d like to report a robbery. I think somebody stole half my movie. I can’t seem to find it…”

“Well no, I can’t look, my imagination is currently running wild.”