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(A)Musings

Slight of Hand

‘Tis a wondrous thing to comprise entirely one’s own subgenre.

But for its creation, to whom goes the credit?

Categories
(A)Musings

Erotic Swiffer

Swiffer is really about to use my government name??

BOYCOTT SWIFFER!!!

Swiffer is what porn stars use before and after they get erotic.

BOYCOTT SWIFFER!!!

[SOURCE: ExplanationNotebook337_PornStarsWillDefKnowIActuallyMeantThemCleaningTheHouseTheyRentedForTheShootBecauseTheySelfProduced]

Categories
(A)Musings

Harmonic Friction

If the most unlikely J on the Celtics roster doesn’t emerge as the MVP this series, I’m gonna be pissed. From that first dive to the court for a loose ball in the second quarter, Jrue Holiday kicked the C’s momentum into high gear and had damn near everybody out here burning their knees for possession. That’s the type of infectious hustle that is intangible, and it’s what propelled the rest of the team forward with the smoothness we saw close out the first half. Throw in that tight D and we got ourselves an X factor worthy of the award.

[Source: Bowl of alphabet soup I spilled on my only sports notebook.]

[Update: JK, I’ll take that L. I mean, it was a pretty big soup stain.]

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(A)Musings

Spell it with a J

Jrue Holiday out here getting his jruthers tonight, people!

[Source: JadeNotebook_EveryWordStartingWithD-R]

[Update: Free Throws Take a Vacation for the Mavs, as Jrue Holiday Leads Celtics to Game 2 Win in 2024 NBA Finals…]

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(A)Musings

Marco…

Leaving anonymous comments on a website that is literally somebody’s name reaches a level of irony nearly impossible to identify…

[Source: Erotic Pool Games]

[Update: “Nearly impossible to identify”, of course, being descriptive of a situation otherwise named ‘elusive’; a word of which the first usage cannot be definitively ascribed to a specific individual. And on and on goes the cycle of literary violence!]

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(A)Musings

Super Bowl Drinking Game

Just take a drink every time you hear a Kevwhistle…

Toot, toot.

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(A)Musings

Wrestling with Nature

If a giant does a frog splash in the woods and there’s nobody there to land it on, does Vince McMahon even make money?

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(A)Musings

“I’m not a businessman…”

I think I’m going to take a page out of Yelp’s playbook, an inverse Yelp, if you will. In exchange for not personally using and/or promoting their products or services, I’ll extort brands and businesses, celebrities and C-suites. Either you pay me, or I like you, publicly. You now have to pay me to delete my erotic seal of approval.

They say you can’t account for taste, but I sure can charge for it. Your move [current target of my paranoid delusions].

[Source: GreenFapPad3_MegalomaniacalActsOfCharity]

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(A)Musings

Micro … cosm

Networking with schizophrenics is great because you always get to meet Jesus. And, boy, do I have a bone to pick with him about his spying on me. Doesn’t he know I’m Jesus?!

Categories
(A)Musings

Am I Doing This Right?